Beau

Charlie is my husband, he’s very manly and I just love him so very much. We live in a nice little neighborhood with lots of trees and cars on the street and no sidewalks. Charlie works hard for what we have. I had to quit working after I lost Julie and stay home with little Beau. Beau’s only six years old but had to be pulled out of school for behavior problems, so I stay home to teach instead, but I say there is nothing wrong with him. The shrinks all say that he’s too hyper but I just give him half of one of Charlie’s pain pills and that seems to clam him and me down after 20 minutes. Charlie is Beau's best friend. He listens to everything his daddy says. I can hear Charlie talking to Beau about his friends while I’m was cooking dinner. He takes little Beau to the back porch to play a game with a mouse little Beau had found. He tells Beau that he doesn’t want him playing with his friend Derrick anymore, as he grab a bottle of gas and an empty coke glass telling him no son of his is gonna be a pansy ass. Beau looked wide eye up at his father and says oh. I could feel the uncertainty of Beau's voice. I tell 'em I don’t think he should be telling Beau this; he can be friends with whoever he wants. Charlie gives me a sharp look and I know what that means. Charlie looks down at Beau again and tells him don’t you let a women tell you what to do; they are good for nothing but cooking and cleaning. He tells him you’re gonna be a man Beau, you’re not gonna be like me, working for nothing to come home to a bitching wife. You’re gonna be something, but Beau feels torn. Not understanding why his father is so angry, but wants to please him in anyway. Charlie stuffs the tiny mouse into the bottle, Beau watches closely for what he'll do next, as Charlie dowses the tiny mouse, he tells Beau that kids like Derrick are not like our family that it’s not the Christian way and that it’s not the American way. He tells Beau what if that kid is president someday, you want some fruity guy running your country? Hell no boy! That’s why I’m here, to teach you what’s right. Charlie stuffs some paper into the top of the coke glass, he looks down on Beau and says watch this, it’s gonna be good. They head for the front yard to the middle of the street Beau struggling to keep up. He watches his father carefully as he lights it on fire and throws the bottle down the street and laughs as the little mouse runs and squeals from the burning hair on its body. Charlie screams with laughter, look son look how he's running look at that. Beau runs into the house and into his room crying while Charlie runs after him screaming. Son you’re no pansy it's just a stupid mouse. I can hear the anger in Charlie’s voice and know what coming next. I run down the hallway almost slipping on the rug, and see Charlie throwing things around. I try hard to think fast, Beau is scared and crying. I push through the doorway blocked with toys, to get in front of Charlie. He doesn’t seem to see me ‘cause I keep getting clipped by toy trucks and blocks being kicked and thrown around. I can feel Beau’s terror and all I can do is tuck my arms to my chest and squeeze my hands to my ears and try to push Charlie out of the room. He’s just a boy Charlie is all I keep telling him, he’s just a boy.